


A Perchance to Dream

by Ericadawn16



Series: A Winter's Tale [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23677663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ericadawn16/pseuds/Ericadawn16
Summary: Poe Dameron is still suffering from being interrogated by Kylo Ren but he doesn't want to deal with it while the Resistance could be on its last legs...This story covers part of The Last Jedi through the start of the final battle in Rise of the Skywalker. It also has mentions of Shara Bey, Cassian Andor and Ezra.
Relationships: Kaydel Ko Connix/Rose Tico, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn, Shara Bey/Kes Dameron
Series: A Winter's Tale [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/967458
Kudos: 6





	1. A Sea of Troubles

It was a sunny day on Yavin; technically, Yavin IV. 

Poe led Aunt Padme to a stream that ran not far from the house. He had jumped in before he heard her yelling, "No."

"Come on!" he told and splashed the water. It usually worked on his parents. He wore his red short pants. 

"I shouldn't jump," she said and shook her head. A hand was lying on her stomach. 

"Come on!"

She sighed and started walking towards him through the crystal-clear water. He swam back towards her and saw something dangling from her neck.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing. She looked down and held it up, so the light hit it. It was pretty.

"This was my abuela's ring, in the family for generations and I almost lost it, so I keep it safe on this chain," she explained. "It's too big..."

She looked down at her fingers and took the necklace off. Then, Aunt Padme put the ring on her finger and waggled it at him. He laughed. 

"My mama had a queenie star," he told her. Then, she laughed.

"A quinceañera," she corrected. "My planet didn't have those. I had something different when I turned 16."

Then, there was the sound of an Imperial walker behind them.

"Tell me! Tell me where the map is!" Kylo Ren screamed.

Poe suddenly woke up. Then, he remembered. Leia had shot him. The fuel! He jumped off his cot.

************************************************************************


	2. Orisons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe isn't the only one who can't sleep after Crait.

Poe watched the ring roll down the hole and knew it was gone forever. He started to cry, not even caring if Aunt Padme or Ben could hear him or that he wasn’t a small child anymore. 

"Poe? Poe, what is it?" his aunt asked.

"My mom's ring! I lost my mom's ring! It fell out of my pocket and into that hole," he said, pointing to where the ground wasn't all there, from an animal or something.   
She knelt down beside him. Her brown eyes were empathetic. 

"The ring is like she's still with you, isn't it? Like she isn't as gone?" she asked in a soft voice and she was touching her ring with the big stone. Poe nodded. She really understood. 

"I might be able to get it back," she explained. Poe didn't understand how that could be possible. If he stuck his hand down there, it could get bit off and if he tried digging, it could just collapse everything.   
She held up hand up and stared at the hole, like nothing else was there. Then, after a moment, the ring popped right out. 

Poe realized his mouth was gaping open as she picked it up and handed it back to him. 

"Jedi, you must be a Jedi, Aunt Padme," he declared. Her smile was strange.

"I've known many who could use the Force but wouldn't call themselves Jedi," she said and shook her head. "When we get back, we should find a chain to wear the ring on, so she'll be close to you and you won't lose it."

Something about that seemed familiar but before he could think about it, the sky darkened, and a large beam of light incinerated the planet. 

Poe woke with a start. It was the only way he woke up nowadays. To make matters worse, he didn't immediately remember where he was. He slowed his breathing and remembered he was on the Millennium Falcon with the remains of the Resistance. How much of it was his fault?

BB-8 chirped at him.

"I'm fine," he said automatically and didn't even believe himself. He decided to walk around the ship. The main circuit was full of sleeping bodies, so he took a side route and found himself in the cockpit. He wasn't alone. 

"General."

"Commander."

"Captain, remember you demoted me," he said in a lighthearted tone, coming closer. She sat in the captain's chair as the lines of hyperspace passed around them. The long coat hung on the back of her seat while she wore a thin grey dress. Her brown hair was looser than he had ever seen it before. He still wore what he’d been wearing at Crait. 

"Fine, I promote you back to Commander," she retorted. "If everyone weren't already dead, I might be accused of favoritism." 

He saw her mouth uptick like a smile and sat down; fully aware it was Chewbacca's chair. Leia was comfortable and he wondered how many times she had flown the Falcon. Everyone made it seem like it was only Han's baby. 

"You couldn't sleep either." 

It didn't sound like a question, but he shook his head anyway. 

"My first ride on her was similar to this, running from the Empire, hoping we could get the plans to the Rebellion in time. Your first ride was much more enjoyable," she spoke. This was one of those times where she knew so much more than he did, and he could feel it.

"This is my first ride."

She chuckled. 

"When your parents left the Rebellion, I had Han and Chewie get you and your Tati. You loved it. You were always obsessed with flying."

He looked around the aged ship with new eyes, wondering how his three-year-old self saw it. 

"Have I ever told you about this ring?" she asked, touching the ring with the large square stone.

"It was your abuela's ring," he said without thinking. He only knew that from the dream unless it wasn't a dream. What if it was still the aftereffects of Ren messing with his mind? Dredging things up that shouldn't have been touched? Was that why everything was with Leia?

"That's right," she confirmed with a sad smile. "It was made for the royal family. Every bit of it is from Alderaan. When I joined the senate, Queen Breha passed on her mother's ring to me. When I said it was too big, she said I would grow into it."

There was a soft chuckle. 

"She also said to remember that my mother was proud of me. She knew my real mother."

Poe focused even more attention on her although it was hard nowadays to really concentrate. It was rare to hear her talk about her mother.

"She was not only an elected queen for her planet but also elected to the senate just as I was, at about the same age even. Naboo, it's such a pretty planet, even now, have you been there?"

Poe shook his head. 

"The first time I ever went to Naboo was with Shara. I didn't realize its importance then, only that it felt...familiar but full of memories that weren't mine. Ghosts, I suppose you could say. It was one of the few times I piloted a ship alongside your mother," she said, and the small smile returned. "A Naboo N-1 Starfighter is not an easy ship to fly in battle."

"It's ancient," Poe retorted immediately. Leia laughed and agreed, "even then."

Poe imagined his mom flying in battle alongside Leia.   
If most of the dreams were memories, then Leia already knew but he pulled out the ring from under his shirt. 

"This was my mama's ring and nony before her; nothing fancy, just a steel washer in another life. Nony's wedding to Tati was the last time she ever saw her brother. He left for Fest and they never saw him again, always figured the Empire had something to do with that."

This time, she had deliberately looked away from him and at the hyperspace instead.  
When she turned back, she placed a hand over the silver band.

"Ask me again one day about Shara's uncle," she said, and he nodded. Shara's uncle was no one. What could be so important?

"It wasn't just the ring being big that was my problem with it. The ring felt like it had the weight of responsibility, not that I could accurately describe it that way back then. When it feels like everyone is depending on you, it can be extremely heavy. Then, they all died and I..."

She paused and looked off into the hyperspace before continuing. 

"I wasn't wearing it. I didn't even have it with me and as the Empire was ransacking all the senatorial offices, one of my aides risked her life to get this ring back for me. This tiny little thing, it shouldn't be worth that much, but it was, it became a symbol that not everything was lost. Sometimes, I felt alone but I could feel them with me. I also had my friends and they were the best friends I could have ever asked for...It's okay to need help sometimes," Leia spoke and he felt her brown eyes boring into him.

She knew, somehow, she knew...everything. 

He could talk to her. She'd understand.

The words dried up and his mouth refused to move. He couldn't do it. Admitting it still felt too weird. 

Instead, he just nodded. 

"Would you like to talk about anything?"

Again, he knew he should tell her how Ren had made him feel, how he was still being affected and how he couldn't sleep over it but...he knew who Ren used to be. How could he put that on her after everything else she had suffered? He had noticed the past tense of friends, only Chewie was left. Han was dead. Her brother was dead. Amilyn was dead. How much of those deaths were his fault?

He shook his head and he had never seen her so disappointed since she stunned him the day before.


	3. Slings and Arrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe has another nightmare and comes to a decision.

"It's appropriate that we remember those we lost here where it all began, where the Rebellion celebrated its first victories," Leia spoke, her voice echoing among the ancient ziggurat. "Our losses can never be replaced and should never be forgotten."

Unlike the other dreams, Poe knew this had never happened. They still hadn’t had a chance to properly mourn their dead and he doubted they would before everything was over. He hadn’t been home since right after meeting Finn and everything else happening. Still, the dream didn’t change with this realization. 

Even Rey who had only known Luke had watery eyes. BB-8 rolled closer so Poe could put his arm around him. It didn’t make him jumpy like real life. He half expected the ghosts to appear, the ones Tati was always talking about.

"May the Force be with them and with us all." 

Jedi always burned their dead. His papa buried his mama beside her garden. In the Resistance, there was usually little left behind to do either. He noticed Rose Tico enveloped by Finn's arms as she wept.

Her sister should have led a long life and that was his fault, too. 

The stone shook and he heard the sound. It was a battering ram just like Crait. They were going to break in. He called for everyone to run further into the pyramid to the secret passageways. Then, daylight broke through and he aimed his gun-

With a start, Poe woke up. Then, another noise startled him, and he jumped despite being strapped into his pilot chair. Over the com., BB-8 let out a mournful tune. Now, he was worrying his droid.

"No, no, buddy, you did nothing wrong. It's me," he said and was quick not to admit aloud...something's wrong with me. It was a wonder that Ikkrukk or Corellia hadn’t gone badly. He knew Snap and Kun would have noticed but they weren’t saying anything to him. They hadn’t really talked since the wedding right after Starkiller Base. He realized he’d been avoiding everyone, not wanting to speak to anyone about anything except the missions. It wasn’t working. The other day he yelled at Wedge for no reason. You can’t have a commander that you’re afraid to say anything to or he might shatter or blow up. Even after that, Norra and Wedge hadn’t said anything. 

It was up to Poe. He'd have to admit the truth before she rightfully grounded him again.


End file.
